Brahmacharya - lets talk about sex...

I mentioned this yama some time ago in Mauna, my piece about taking a vow of silence for a day, joking that silence was our tiny version of Brahmacharya and that another was celibacy. There are many ways to participate in Brahmacharya, but primarily this yama is about sexual responsibility.

Human beings are sexual beings - no getting around that. Think about how much energy we put towards this aspect of our lives, and I do not just mean in the act itself: worry about self image, crushes, flirting, stressing over not getting the reaction you may have been looking for, dating, fighting, breaking up, (don't even get me started on the right to birth control access and solid healthcare options) etc. And all this does not even account for the energy we put into the physical act itself.

The point of Brahmacharya is to honor this sexual, tantric energy and realize that it (I would argue only some of it because, well, I am not ready to go celibate) can be put towards a better use - enlightenment. By reserving this energy and using it for spiritual practice we use the energy for a grander end result. (Insert grand end jokes here.) When I was first presented with this idea, the thought seemed outdated and did not resonate with me. I appreciated the day of silence but couldn't see my commitment past that.

But think of Brahmacharya as related to Ahimsa (love, love, love) and it starts to become more relevant. Sexual responsibility is more than a choice to have or not to have sex. It is about being intentional in your desires and acts - not just wasting all that energy for no good reason. It's about honoring your partner - practice Brahmacharya by never cheating and never being hurtful.

I like to always think of the opposites in the yamas and the opposite of responsibility is misconduct. Sexual misconduct can be agonizing for the other person involved. I do not just mean cheating here - think of the worst cases: harassment, abuse, rape, etc - sexual misconduct can be devastating. Sexual misconduct is also every case of sexual inequality, which sadly, is still running rampant in our and most societies.

Ahimsa tells us to do no harm to ourselves and others; to act with love. Brahmacharya and the use of our powerful sexuality, in relation to that thought, is easy to see and easy to practice. Be it on a governmental, human rights level or in a more personal way.