As if she could read my mind, Jenny (our incredible Director) put this worry to a halt with her opening ceremony. She and Molly (our fabulous Assistant Director) handed out daisies. Jenny introduced us to our little statue of Ganesha – the remover of obstacles – and told us a story about traveling to the Ganesha Temple in India. She told us, when you enter you are given a coconut to symbolize your obstacles and that there is a place to throw them up against a wall at the front of the temple. So you literally smash the obstacle standing in your way to pieces. Is that not the best thing you have ever heard? (Planning future trip to India – check.)
We did this with our daisies. I gave my daisy my fear of not having a strong enough practice, my worry that people would look at me and wonder what I was doing there, I gave it all my heavy loads and all the roles I play day to day. I decide it was time to be humble; to know I didn’t need to be the best. I recognized that teacher training was a place for me to find myself outside of all these roles – to remember who I am beyond sister, daughter, girlfriend, godmother, manager, etc. Nothing smashed of course, but spending a moment to meditate over the flower releasing my fears and anxiety really did help. Then as a group we threw them at Ganesha’s feet.
Over the course of two days we went over Surya Namaskar (Sun Salutation) A and B. Molly taught us the practical, bare-bones side of things and Jenny took it to the next level and taught us the energy flow of the prana vayus that go along with each pose. I will write more about these later but for now I just want to say that WE TAUGHT ON THE FIRST DAY! I was amazed and terrified that Molly was asking us to do this. Sure we just spent hours going over it pose by pose, sure I did Sun A and B in class all the time … but teaching, just like that? Yup. Just. Like. That.
My first time through Sun A was a struggle. I forgot every word of Sanskrit and mostly called breath cues and approximations of the pose that went with them. I had a great group that just chugged along with it and eventually it was over. I instantly thought – I can do better. I got my chance again in the last hour of our nine-hour day. I got up and this time taught Sun B. Amazingly a voice came out of me that had to be mine but sure didn’t feel like mine – calling every cue in English and Sanskrit, hitting the breath cues and holding a steady pace! At the end I jumped for joy. It’s true, I’m a big nerd, but that was the moment that I finally felt like I was where I was meant to be.
